After a few weeks of contemplation, Team Print Shop presents their top five NFL logos. We would have liked to bring you this post earlier, ideally before the Super Bowl weekend, but BBQ, chicken, and relaxation trumped our initiatives. So here it is, written by John Ream IV.
Not every dude can pull off a handlebar mustache, headband, and braided pigtails and still look like he could score some babes. How does this contrasting viking/biker/middle school girl lacrosse player image result in a look that is feared by men and adored by women? It’s all in the color.
Purple is my favorite color and I rarely get to use it out of misconceptions of femininity. Purple is the color of magic, royalty, and Skeletor. Follow Minnesota’s lead and embrace the magic of purple.
To tell you the truth, I hate the color aqua and dolphins. (Sidenote: I do not buy sixpacks with ring holders as a means for dolphin population control, I buy sixpacks with ring holders because they are both economical and convenient.)
So, why are the Miami Dolphins number 4 on my list? Neither the world of science or art can explain it; something magical happens when an orange glow is placed behind a dolphin wearing a helmet. (Return to original sidenote: Perhaps helmets could help the aquatic world out in terms of fatal six pack ring holder incidents).
True story: my uncle went to school with Dan Marino…super impressive if you’re from the rustbelt and the only other celebrity you can claim a connection to is a professional bowler. Furthermore, Dan Mario is a gifted actor and should be recognized by the film industry for his standout role in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.
3. Oakland Raider (1964- Present)
Black and silver is probably one of the sexiest color scheme you could come up with for a football team. Add a pirate, sword, and helmet…WOAH BUDDY! Since 1964, this logo hasn't changed much, and why should it? We figure that if the Raiders did alter there logo, riots would result, probably larger and more violent than both the 60s race riots and Occupy Oakland. I’ve said all that needs to be said on this one.
2. Philadelphia Eagles (1987-1995)
I also don’t need to elaborate on the Philadelphia Eagles logo. It’s an eagle holding a football. USA! As every South Philly dude named Anthony, Tony, Ant, or Antony will tell you, in American we play football not that European soccer shit.
1. Pittsburgh Steelers (1969 - Present)
I get real emotional about this one. Growing up in Western Pennsylvania, you could say that I bleed black and gold. Living in Philly, I wore my Steelers hat with pride, and for doing so, was kicked out of a bar with Joe (fatboy) Stiller. To the proprietors of that establishment, I say the Stillers do not suck. The Steelmark is a symbol of the mighty steel industry and working class that manufactured it…which is perhaps more patriotic than an eagle holding a football.